then i suppose i'm just a lamp?!

*Sighs*

I think I'm too pretty for my own good. (Excuse the public display of vanity, people. Sometimes, a girl needs to exercise this prerogative.)

I've been living under a rock these past few months and I think it's about time that I crawl out of it.

I'm not a freakin' lamp that someone just can switch on and off, right? I need confirmation here, people. The worst  part is, lamps aren't even living things and I am. I have blood, bones, flesh and organs. I can die. I'm very capable of being hurt.

So I think it's about time people appreciate me for who I am, for what I can do. I'm human and I get tired too. I can't stay forever, as much as I want to.

"... and you can quote me on that!"

He said this with that proverbial smirk. About twice in an hour.

Goodness, like I could post the stuff he said here! MTRCB is monitoring my blog for chrissakes!

And little kids are part of my readership! I have no intention of stealing their precious innocence. No sir!

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

His highne Senpai's just stubborn sometimes.

something you should know

I thrive for a complicated life.

I love being the "undefined", the "this requires a long explanation".

Because, frankly said, I'm not that simple either. I can't be defined that easily.

I have the oddest wants and needs.

I love being thrown into imbroglios. I love the suffering, the drama and the pockets of hope and flashes of smiles in between.

I guess I'm just built that way.

I hope you understand that I'm just like this.

why i think people should enroll in etiquette class

Delikadesa - something a lot of people are forgetting/don't have.

I always thought it was just a kolehiyala thing but then, for social order and appearances, I now believe everyone needs it too. Not for being prude or plastic in any way, rather to not contribute to the discord in this already-chaotic society that we have.

Look boys and girls, when the person you love leaves you, do what you think will comfort you as long as you don't harm, annoy or disturb others in the process.

Think of it this way - shouting out your frustrations in the market/bulletin/whatever will only confirm that you are on the losing side. It means you're still affected. Who knows? That person may just be laughing at your efforts of sourgraping. Why not try to be indifferent? Indifference hurts more than angry words. Let me remind all of you that you all are living testimonies of that. (I know all your stories and this is just a suggestion; You won't lose your left leg if you try it.)

Fine, fine. I get it that we need to express ourselves. But we don't necesarilly have to do it in public, right?

If you posted a bulletin, a blog entry or a shout-out, I suggest you delete it. I'm only going to say this once. It makes you look pathetic. And I don't want any of my friends to be branded like that. I know you're all way better than that.

I get it that we have different styles of expression and moving on, but sheesh, I reiterate, do it with some control.

Have some delikadesa.

---

PS this entry is directed to three people in particular. I'm not sure if you guys read my blog, but if you do and you get to read this entry, I hope you won't get mad. I'm just concerned.

because your voice was the soundtrack of my summer

Hmm, a few metaphors that have made me wince, but other than that, quite a nice song.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

That was too literal. And oh-so-true.

Here you are, Boys and Girls...

---

BOYS LIKE GIRLS LYRICS

"Thunder"

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today in the blink of an eye I'm holding on to something and I do not know why
I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation
For what I'm feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe there's a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know
Whoa (whoa, whoa, whoa)
Today I'm on my own
I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone
I don't know (I don't know, I don't know, I don't know)

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside
Just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think we'll make it out
But you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
Whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder, and I said
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

a different kind of withrawal

Supposed to be writing film112 reaction paper and journ101's reading synopsis and preparing power suit for tomorrow's class under (yes, under) Sir Avecilla and browsing through Ma'am Holmes' readings and finishing script (which is taking a century to be transcribed). . .

But no. I am here for another complaint, another dictum that I need to exhaust.

So here I am.

In some sort of like/love withrawal. It's funny how the different forces at play eat your brain cells and morals up. It's like you want to care but you feel like it's so below you - but that just means that you don't (in the first place) because you just dismissed a desparate, personal suggestion.

Then you reminisce and all of a sudden you feel like fighting for making the feelings stay because taking the gamble means a chance at succeeding. Then you're scared so you don't take it.

Then you're back to where you were - feelings limbo. You feel the hugs, the kisses, even indulge in the sweet nothings but inside, you're on some autopilot of some kind. Like, you don't know what you're supposed to feel. Or if you should be feeling at all. Or if you should be called human, at the very least.

The only way out of this is if an outside force either hoists you up or pulls you down. You may be happy or not for whichever place you end up on but anywhere else would be better than some god-forsaken-vestibule of undiscovered feelings and forgotten passion.

mastering the art of feigning indifference

... because sometimes, you just have to pretend not to care. Or that you're not hurt or jealous or bitter.

Maybe because doing so is an affirmation that you have completely lost control of yourself and have thrown yourself at the mercy of someone or something.

However, what you're doing is just putting on a face, or rather, a mask. You're showing everyone how strong you are but in the end, what really matters is what you feel inside. You can hide behind several masks, new make-up, fashionable clothes, maybe even a haircut or highlights, well-polished nails and a loyal band of boys worshipping the ground you walk on, but really, those things won't really change what you feel inside.

Or maybe it would - in time.

As for me, I'm not doing it because I need a mask... I'm doing it to convince other people, because maybe, in the process, I'd convince myself.

"my mental age is..." survey critique

mental age critique

1. [x] I know how to make a pot of
coffee. (sige nga, starbucks?)
2. [ ] I do my own laundry. (not that you do, but can you?)
3. [x] I can cook for myself.
4. [x] I think politics are exciting. (if you think politics isn't exciting, it doesn't necessarily mean you're immature. it's just that you may have other interests. ang test of maturity d'yan ay kung aware ka ba at nakikialam. i mean, excited ka nga sa politics pero hanggang excitement lang pala...)
5. [x] My parents have better things to
say than my friends. (ang tanga rin nito kasi parents are not infallible. i mean, some of my greatest epiphanies come from my friends)
6. [x] I show up for
school/college/work
every day early. (so what kung early? thas one thing. but the Q is, do you step up and participate well?)
7. [x] I always carry a pen in my
pocket/purse. (sige paano pag magtae ang pen mo?)
8. [x] I've never gotten a detention (ano ngayon kung never?)
9. [x] I've watched talk shows. (anong klaseng talk shows ito?)
10.[x] I know what 'credibility' means
without looking it up. (duh.)
11.[x] I drink coffee at least once a
week. (ano ngayon? coffee ba ang basehan ng pagiging mature?)
12. [x] I know how to do the dishes. (eto gets ko pa)
13. [x] I can count to 10 in Chinese. (sige nga, aanhin mo yan?)
14. [x] When I say I'm going to do
something, I do it. (eto gets ko rin)
15. [x] My parents trust me.
16. [ ] I can mow the lawn. (pano pag wala kayong lawn, aber?! kasalanan mo ba yun? ibig sabihin di ka na mature)
17. [x] I can make adults laugh without
being stupid. (dude, why just the adults? why not the children as well? sense of humor doesn't equate to maturity although some studies say na it's related to IQ. but those are 2 completely dif things)
18. [ ] I remember to water my plants. (pano pag wala kayong plants?!?)
19. [x] I study when I have to. (pano pag di ka na nagaaral? how about the out of school youth?)
20. [x] I pay attention at
school/college. (hayy..)
21. [ ] I remember to feed my pets. (pano pag wala kang pets?)
22. [x] I can spell 'experience'
without looking it up (wow. pasado ka na sa grade two! congrats! ergo, mature ka na! *note the sarcasm*)
23. [x] I clean up my own mess. (no comment dito. profound ito kahit pano)
24. [ ] The first thing I do when I
wake up is get caffeine. (eto na naman tayo)
25. [x] I can go to the store without
getting something I don't need. (ano ngayon?)
26. [ ] I understand jokes the first
time they are said. (pano pag di mo narinig?)
27. [x] I can type quickly. (muli, ano ngayon?)
28. [ ] I have realized that the
weather forecast changes every hour. (so?)
29. [ ] I have realized that no one
will take you seriously unless you are
over the age of 25 and have a job. (go lang. be jaded. there are actually kids who are being taken more seriously than you are if you believe this)
30. [x] I can read a book and actually
finish it.

> (now add them all up)

Grand Total:
Re-post as, "My mental age is...."

comment ko pa: so what if you could do all these things? una kasi, define "mental age". does it mean maturity or what? kasi naman things posted here are those let's say, how society perceives the working class people and their habits and routines pero it doesn't necessarily mean na dahil ginagawa mo yung ginagawa nila ay ka-mental age mo na sila. it just means na pareho kayo ng routine. period. baka kasi nasanay ka na sa ganoong lifestyle or whatever. wag na nating gawan ng storya.

kung maturity lang rin namanang pag-uusapan, gusto ko lang i-share yung quote na nabasa ko. sabi nun na you're starting to mature when you start putting other people before you. tipong hindi na lang tungkol sa'yo ang lahat, etc. hindi ganun kasimple madetermine yan. at iba2 naman ang pagdevelop at pag-asenso natin bilang tao kaya kung mababa man ang nakuha mo sa sarbey na ito, wag ka magalala. hindi ibig sabihin na wala kang kwentang tao. :) marami ka pa ring pwedeng gawin sa mundong ito kahit hindi mo kapareho ang klase ng buhay ng mga taong sinasabi ng lahat ay "mataas ang mental age"

agree ba? :)

- nicai

wake up and smell the roses and shit

"I love you" contains eight letters...

But so does "bullshit".

(a quote from Aleli)
---

I've edited these grade school english grammar books last summer. And one of the lessons were about root words. We obviously know what that is, right?

So what's the root word of "reality"? If my grade school teacher taught me right, it is "real". And real can be interpreted in so many ways by many different people. Some say it's in direct proportion with the truth, but I disagree with that. Mostly because deception has been a very big part of my reality and a minute's worth of honesty is next to imposible.

What I have learned about "reality" so far is that it consists of the bitter and the sweet. And you never really get to appreciate the other side of it without falling trap to the other. It works that way, I guess. Must be nature's way of balancing out things.

So, "facing" reality must mean... well, facing it - offering your face to be slapped and carressed at the same time.

---

Personally, i've always prefered to live in my dreams, in my wishes. But I have to grow up, right? I need to wake up to smell the roses and smell the shit. No one's asking me to but I know this will make me stronger.

It will hurt. I will bleed. But the important thing is, I've freed myself of the bondage (sometimes sugar-coated with the sweetest words) and let loose the blindfold of ignorance and wishful thinking. Because reality isn't about the what-should-have-been and what-could-be. It's about what is and what's there.

There will always be things that you have always wished for and thought of that will never even take its place in our realm and there would always be those things that you have never imagined but happened anyways. The least we could do is accept these "realities" and make the most out of it.

It's practical, simple and logical.

It may hurt us, gladden us and even kill us.

But that's life.

You grow up and you learn.

You live in "reality" because that's the only "place" you can live. Really.

stand up, shout out and go completely mad

I should start standing up for myself, you know. (And i'm talking to myself here :p) I should stop letting people take advantage of me. It's called "abuse" for chrissakes!

I honestly think I lack conviction in what I do. This is just a remind of my vow last summer - I will speak out even if that means hurting a few loved ones along the way. I just can't keep on saying "yes" to everything that people ask me to do. I'm sorry, I'm not a martyr like some people are. I can't die for someone else. I'm not that selfless yet. I can sacrifice a bit but really, I should start taking care of me the right way and start owning up to my actions.

I need conviction in my life. Desperately, desperately need it.

I should not be ashamed to be mad or helpless or sad. I should cry whenever I feel like it. I should preach when I think it's necessary. I may not be always right and my timing may not be always perfect, but at least I didn't just bottle up all those emotions and thoughts. I think it's worse if I leave them locked up like that.

thank you, for calling me by my name and not my title

Okay, so I think a lot of people already know that I'm Queen Misanagi from the Edogawa Proboards and Fanfiction.net. But seriously, everytime i'm in the cbox of Knightus' site, everyone calls me "queen". It's my title! Not my name!

And then, yesterday, someone finally got it right!

(WARNING: READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP. IT'S HOW CBOXES WORK)

12 Jun 07, 10:26 Toichi: like this happens. I am telling you Kid can't die in such a lame way.

12 Jun 07, 10:25 Toichi: @Miro: You could wait right. Knightus said he can't guarantee when it would be released. And I agree with Misanagi what has Kid got to do with this. This would be Gosho's biggest flop if something

12 Jun 07, 10:20 Miro: Still no tranlastion out there yet`?

12 Jun 07, 09:13 queen misanagi: @ kuroneko: i agree. and it wasn't hinted that he was involved with akai's death at all..

12 Jun 07, 09:12 queen misanagi: goodness, what now? some conspiracy theory that KID died? dear me...

12 Jun 07, 09:08 Kuroneko: I think KID has nothing to do at this point of Akai's death.

12 Jun 07, 09:06 Kuroneko: that doesn't make sense. Why would KID disguise himself as Akai?

12 Jun 07, 09:02 Fog: oh, what? So Kid died? uhm, hadly say that i prefer Kid to Akai... i like them both

12 Jun 07, 08:52 huy: then akai/kid is unfaithful?? cuz in Kid it shows that he loves Inspector daugther,and Akai loves Shiho's sister?? o.o

12 Jun 07, 08:39 Lik: Hic hic, can neone translate the file 611 into Eng, plz???

12 Jun 07, 08:13 Baka1412: a moment b4 the car explosion, he flew with black gantole ^^

12 Jun 07, 08:10 Baka1412: if akai in the car explosion isn't KID, then akai must have learn some magic trick from toichi kuraba ^^

12 Jun 07, 08:02 Toichi: If Akai was really Kid in disguise than how does that guy know about Gin and Porsche356A. Or I didn't hear this properly. --- Thank you, Toichi!!! And thanks to Knightus Maximus, of course, for this clip. Don't forget to visit his site for the latest DC manga scanlation! http://conan.wagnergrp.com/ Ja!

but i guess this song says it all

Shiver by Maroon 5 album: Songs About Jane (2002)

You build me up You knock me down Provoke a smile And make me frown You are the queen of runaround You know it's true You chew me up And spit me out Enjoy the taste I leave in your mouth You look at me I look at you Neither of us know what to do There may not Be another way to your heart So I guess I'd better find a new way in I shiver when I hear your name Think about you but it's not the same I won't be satisfied ‘til I'm under your skin Immobilized by the thought of you Paralyzed by the sight of you Hypnotized by the words you say Not true but I believe ‘em anyway So come to bed It's getting late There's no more time for us to waste Remember how my body tastes You feel your heart begin to race There may not Be another way to your heart So I guess I'd better find a new way in I shiver when I hear your name Think about you but it's not the same I won't be satisfied ‘til I'm under your skin Feel your heart begin to race! There may not Be another way to your heart So I guess I'd better find a new way in And I shiver when I hear your name Think about you but it's not the same I won't be satisfied ‘til I'm under your skin There may not Be another way to your heart So I guess I'd better find a new way in And I shiver when I hear your name Think about you but it's not the same I won't be satisfied ‘til I'm under your skin

this is us, in retrospect

I have always chosen princes over frogs. It isn't in my nature to show sympathy nor mercy to those poor, desperate beings who try to intrude into my well-guarded fortress. I didn't really need anything, really... I had the best things in life. I had everything, even those I didn't ask for, was handed in flying, sparkling platters. And I thought my life was perfect. I thought I was perfect. I was happy and content inside my fortress.

This almost fictional fortress, as many of you may have already guessed, is that organ that beats non-stop. It allows blood, tears, poison and that sickening, sickening drug called "love" to flow into your veins and consume your whole being. It envelopes your soul with memories and longing, it strangles you with such intensity but in the end, you end up breathing life into your system.

So, what about it, eh?

How come it never penetrated my fortress if it's all that.

Or maybe it already did.

---

The princes I have mentioned came through the back door. They didn't really enter the right way. And they were past-times, mere playthings that i have laughed at as they have indulged me with sweet nothings.

Then came a crusader, who hid his royalty behind shabby clothes, poetic crap and raised eyebrows. He told me I was screwed. He taught me that I can't always have what I want. He seduced me into wanting things I didn't really like.

"I should work in advertising..." he even said once.

He has done many different things that the other princes didn't even consider. And from his lessons, I have learned that you can't always have your way and that it's idiotic to think that you could only be happy if you have the best thing - because there are no bests. And in those moments when I'm with him, moments that I still consider to be distinct times when madness and clarity clash, I have discovered that I could be perfectly content with the next best thing.

I'd be forever thankful for the epiphanies I have shared with him. However, in the light of my new life, I have forgotten that he too, is in need of salvation.

So unexpectedly, my dark and brooding charmer, fell into a serious state of cognitive dissonance. I lost him.

Then he comes. Then he goes. Then he comes again.

Then I was tired.

But I promised myself that I wouldn't give up on him. He showed me goodness, and that's what I should give back.

But I find it stupid sometimes. It annoys me when I think that I can be compared to that stupid maiden in A Lover's Complaint.

And it makes me question my newfound beliefs. Why do I settle for the next best thing?

---

When the handsome young prince came for the maiden, why did she reject him? I used to think she was plain stupid but now, I think I get her somehow. Yeah, pathetic as it may sound.

This was her reply:

O that infected moisture of his eye,

O that false fire which in his cheek so glow'd,

O that forc'd thunder from his heart did fly,

O that sad breath his spongy lungs bestow'd,

O all that borrowed motion seemingly ow'd,

Would yet again betray the fore-betray'd, And new pervert a reconciled maid!

And it might as well have been mine.

balikatrin mo man ang mundo, kolehiyala pa rin ako...

I wanted to say so many things, but then I suddenly didn't feel like it.

Monsters from my past have resurfaced. I thought I've gotten rid of them but I guess the farther you run, the sooner they catch up. (Don't ask me how) Pero di bale na, whatever happens, I'd still end up victorious. A friend of mine used to say that if you fail, don't think of yourself as a failure. And I've been starting to think that way lately. I know I've done a lot of mistakes in my past, some intentional, some just plain stupid.

And I've ran anway from some of them. I thought, what's the point of facing something I know would hust me?

But then, in those moments of pain, that's when i have my little moments of epiphany. With God's help, of course.

---

Some people still try to hurt me. I don't blame them but honestly, some of them are just plain whacked for attacking an innocent girl who just wants a better life and a better nation.

No, I'm not that kind who attacks or retaliates. What I do is hold my head up high and handle things with grace, a bit of pride and delikadesa.

I'm still so greatful to be me. I love me!!! :D

(Pasensya na, lately, I'm all about me, I've been fixing my life and sorry if I haven't been letting anyone be too close or whatever. I've put up walls again, so I could heal and reflect and redempt.)

must love break-ups

Thanks to Bamboo, I'm seeing break-ups in a whole new light!

Check out their new song, 50 ways to leave your lover.

---

Album: We Stand Alone Together
Original Artist: Paul Simon

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

[Chorus]
Just slip out the back, Jack
Or make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Oh, hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and could you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

[Chorus 2]
Slip out the back, Jack
Or make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Oh, hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

just the most incoherent sentences/phrases, really

I badly miss someone who I shouldn't be missing.

---

Thank you, BA Racoma, for the plugging opportunity. Check out his blog: http://ba.racoma.com.ph

---

Thank goodness for work, really.

---

I should finish my scripts and research.

I should do something productive.

---

If we're doing voice-overs, our managers always tell us that our voice sounds better when we're hungry :) Maybe thas why he sounded uber sexy on the phone a while ago. Shocks, parang may droga o gayuma yung boses nya, hanggang ngayon may hangover pa rin ako. Sheeeeet, this is so not me. I'm acting like a school girl with a crush! Eeeeeps!

---

Thanks to BA, really, for bringing up important issues about life.

---

I should really get some sleep.

---

Did i have dinner? Wtf did i eat?

---

Oh, so thas how you meet people... I see...

---

Blogging is love. Especially if people you don't know reads your blog. The cherry on the icing, ofc, is when it appears as one of the top searches in Google for something as trivial as "synergy".

BA's so nakakainggit! XD

---

I should totally sleep now.

---

Back to UP and Trinoma tomorrow! Wooosh!

---

Tequilla is love. (Yeah, I was referring to the DC character lol!)

---

I prefer Vermouth and Kir. Kir's the CIA agent, btw.

---

Kaitou KID is still the best! Love those hang gliders.

---

There's this really hot guy who's so addicted to "Lost". And then, there's another hot guy who's addicted to "Prison Break".

So?

Yeah, they're both gay. Kidding!

---

I'm acting like Sherlock Holmes in "The Dying Detective". Check it out, really.

---

So what about those clams?

---

Head hurts. Love and happiness is blur.

---

Must stop typing.

---

Mikki overheats. I fall asleep.

---

That is all.

schizo fits are the best

I know very well that I am cursed by someone when I start seeing things that I'm not supposed to see. People that don't exist, for example.

I've had this before. And I feel myself blushing just the thought of writing here. Eek! This blog used to be just some sort of blackhole for my thoughts and emotions... So why am I so worried (and conscious) of the things that I am about to write? Is it because I know that people read? I dunno. Is it because these readers are people that I actually know? Not sure.

Oh don't mind me. I'm just having one of 'em schizo and paranoia fits. I'll get out of this come school day... :)

---

because there are things that we just feel like doing (aka crying's not so bad)

So i was going to come up with this entry about "love" but then i suddenly didn't feel like it.

Then i thought, "hey, why not an entry about heaven?" Then i started crying when i reached the second paragraph.

Hmm, i seem to be crying more these days. I think of it as some sort of washing away the dirt and grime and darkness and other filthy things that i kept locked up in the abyss of my heart.

Not so bad, eh?

So, now, because i am completely speechless, i present to you, my dear audience, this song.

I just like this song. Deal with it. ;)

(PS i like my shout-out for today. Don't forget to say "pretty, sexy, hot, please!" ;p)

---

"Harder To Breathe"

-maroon 5-

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe