and this is how similar our differences are

gusto ko magdrama. . .

gusto ko magbanggit ng pangalan at maging specific sa mga kwento ko pero hindi pwede. . .

*iyak*

*iyak*

*Iyak*

ano naman kasi masama kung malaman ng sanlibutan di ba? we could make up some lie re how it happened or we could simply lie. either way. . .

nvm

i get what you're saying.

wala lang. there are just some times when i wish we could get over our weaknesses and cure our disorders (really, it is) so we could have a healthy, normal youknowwhat.

but i know deep inside that we wouldn't be happy. i know 'cause you said it yourself that we think alike. we live for drama, tragedy, and for every cinematic twist that our actions create. we enjoy life better that way. we don't like to conform nor live by the rules. i know 'cause you told me. i know 'cause i feel that way myself.

king and queen of ironies

his highness and i haven't reached any sort of agreement yet re our probs with... well, ourselves.

grabe. finally found someone who contradicts himself as much as i do. ang baaaadtriiiiip. ang hirap haha. magiging congnitive dissonant na rin ako nito ng di-oras eh.

so obviously, wala na namang nakakaintindi sa mga pinagsasabi ko. shooocks. wala lang. pati ako nacoconfuse na rin sa pinagsasabi ko. fine, besides cognitive dissonance, mukhang split personality disorder na rin kami. haha. anggulooo!!!

pero masaya :)

di ba? haha!

because i like this song

"Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"

I'm gonna make you bend and break
(It sends you to me without wait)
Say a prayer but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show
(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life
"Who does he think he is?"
If that's the worst you got
Better put your fingers back to the keys

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

Been looking forward to the future
But my eyesight is going bad
And this crystal ball
It's always cloudy except for
When you look into the past (look into the past)
One night stand (one night stand off)

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers
In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers
Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes
I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood, whoa

One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

One night and one more time (One more night, one more time)
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time (One more night, one more time)
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"

epiphanies, epiphanies, epiphanies...

so yeah, i finally admit that i went rebel mode for a while. heck, for a while?

fine. i upgraded my pranking skills, blackmailing skills and you-know-what skills.

(insert a very long sigh here)

and yeah, i've been disppointed with myself, not because of failure but because of success. that is, success in achieving the wrong things in life. what are the wrong things? maa, those are obvious. . .

- - -

we had a pseudo-retreat last GA at KNN. apple fale and barri supe were my groupmates. yeah, "the perfect cast" as barri said.

besides having a pre-comm141 lec, we had this honesty activity.

barri affirmed me while apple gave me pieces of advice. tas i affirmed apple while barri gave her advice tas i gave barri advice while apple affirmed him. gets? cycle xa hehe

so ayun. super eye-opening. i mean, i've admitted several times that this year has been hard and one of the reasons why was because i've doubted myself, my qualities and all that is good in me.

it's a good thing we had the activity. as barri affirmed me, i kind of started to trust myself again.

apple's pieces of advice made miracles as well. she said that life is this process of discovering yourself and not being who you think you want to be or what people say you should be.

she also said that i should stand out and maximize my potentials. she reminded me that while many people could be successful, only a very few could make a difference.

(insert a longer sigh here)

hello, world. i'm finally back to my old self again. i'll try to be more sane, swear.

pag sinabi kong pointless, pointless talaga

wala lang.

may ma-blog lang.

hello pipol!!!

hahahaha

when you hold on to something as trivial as a water bottle

so i welcome my sixth day in this fortress as a prisoner.

i never wanted things to be this way.

---

we went to pangasinan's hundred islands last weekend. well, we didn't visit each of the hundred, but only three - governor's (where PBB's teen ed chose as the location for their final weeks), quezon's and children's.

i was bitching about how i never wanted to go, obviously. i was supposed to be in the hospital that day, going through some tests. my dad reasoned out that they planned the trip early on and it would all go to waste if i don't come.

yeah, right.

so i therefore conclude that my parents' enjoyment and trip is more important than my health. some hierarchy of priorities they have, huh?

---

on the way to the islands, i was holding on to my empty water bottle real tight. i was going to the islands not to swim but to fill the water bottle with sand...

three guesses why.

i wanted to cry the whole trip but i have to put up a happy and er, angry face in front of my parents.

three more guesses why. ;)

---

later that afternoon, my informant finally contacted me. the info my informant gave confirmed my fears.

and as the waves washed over me (yeah i let myself float and yeah, i ended up in another island) i thought and thought and thought.. (haha kala niyo madrama karugtong noh?)

but seriously, i reflected and it was like some sort of retreat, actually.

wala lang.

napag-isip2 ako.

i still feel bad and i still equate myself to a lost soul but i'm glad i had my epiphanies.

what they are is none of anyone's business.

hehe.

or maybe it is...

hmm...

let's wait and see

is that what you really want to say?

think of me as kuroba kaito or kudou shinichi. both have secret identities and secret lives.

so, there. both my "lives" just got fucked up. real, real bad.

nada. just wanted to say that and announce that to the world.

i'm going to miss my phone.

but i'll miss his highness the most... :(

tricky trade

guess what, world?

i traded my long, luscious locks for a bob cut.

yeah, i look like haibara-san or sonoko ojou-sama rather than yukiko kudou now.

*cries*

maa, it's summer so i guess that justifies my impulsive act.

up to now i still miss the curls in my hair, swear...

I MISS MY CURLS!!!!

my hair's all straight now!!!

everyone --- PANIC!!!!

summer job

xmeron na ako. hahaha. it maximizes my talents at ako ang boss ko!

8k sweldo ko. gagawin ko lang sa isang upuan.

wala lang. gusto ko manginggit.

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

legal to ah!

ask me na lang for more info.

when rice tastes bitter and the water is sour

okay. they're like count nouns or whatever right?

screw grammar. even just for now.

*sighs*

so, i was eating a while ago and the rice i was eating tasted bitter. weird, ne? and when i tried to wash it down with water, it tasted sour. it may just be psychological.

but i think it's better if it is just something that my mind came up with. i think i'd be happier if i was schizophrenic.

then the hell i've been through would be imagined and the pain wouldn't be as intense.

or maybe it would be because i'm thinking it's real all the time.

but then again, suffering for something real is better than suffering for something imagined.

hmm...

or maybe not.

i dunno. i guess i'll never know.