in between the ups and downs

Slopes. This entry is about slopes. And equations. I'm kidding.

Suddenly I've realized that everyday is not all about sunshine and daisies. There will be periods of blade-wrist-blood even if the general atmosphere has tested for satisfactory. Yes, even if the show is getting top ratings.

The tangles in the imbroglio are still there. The happiness are mere episodes. The bitterness, just segments. Then there is love, which should govern and direct where the "show" is supposed to be going. The ever-frightening commitment is there to complicate things. Then, there is compassion, companionship, trust, understanding, a bit of deception and an all-star cast.

Welcome to my life. It's far from boring, trust me. 

i'll never get tired of this

Immortal and haunting words from the master of goth, Edgar Allan Poe. Enjoy.

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"The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat.

At length I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled -- but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong."

- The Cask of Amontillado, Edgar Allan Poe

saturation is more like it

There. Tests of maturity well on its way to make my life more miserable exciting.

Usually, when I'm pissed at someone, they end up dead and their corpses are usually found on the gutter. I'm kidding! Or am I?

Anyways, my motto in life has always been Nemo Me Impune Lacessit. It's Latin for "Whoever hurts me shall not go unpunished." It came from Edgar Allan Poe's Cask of Amontillado. It was the Montresor's family motto. These immortal and haunting words were emblazoned on the family crest. This infamous crest is similarly chilling as it depicts a foot stepping on the snake that bit it.

I've read the story when I was fourteen and the words just stuck to me. I had adopted the motto ever since. It has been a rule, a personal guide. Whoever hurts me shall not go unpunished.

It's damn intimidating and just might scare people away from messing with me. When they actually do, let's just say I have the means of actualizing this guide in life.

Words become flesh. And blood. Preferably oozing until its owner is exsanguinated.

For years, people have fleeted in fear, dismay and confusion. However, and fortunate at that, I do change. Or mature. Or saturate. Or ferment. Whatever. And there are times that come when I am tempted to go back to the old ways. Then I think of the risks and sacrifices involved. I close my eyes, sigh deeply, count to twenty-three and let it go.

My pride and motto aren't worth another tangle in the imbroglio. Not now.

like, really?

dear blog, kunyari may sense ka. dear blog, bakit lahat ng sentences ko ngayon ay nagsisimula sa "dear"?

dear blog, di ko pa rin ata alam gusto ko.

memories hold me back

... from deleting this account.

Add me at Facebook, friends!

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To him who know and understands, I actually think it's jinxed if we tell each other openly about such things but I'm willing to take the risk.

So, here it goes...

I love you .